you are not alone
by sakura2112
Summary: ok so i found a picture on the web and i wanted to write a sad one shot between Steve and Tony. so Tony starts to think about how he lived his life and his relationship with Steve and he decides to play a little game. rated M just in case. Attempt at Suicide and Sad, you have been warned.


YOU ARE NOT ALONE

The darkened sky lit up with lightning as a muffled cry was heard from the inside of a dark room. A figure was sitting and panting heavily in his bed as he recalls his dream. No not dreams, memories. Horrible horrible memories that filled his head with darkness. He thinks about when he died and how the big guy brought him back. He looks over to the sleeping figure beside him, watching his chest gently rise up and down in slow even breaths. Tony examines the other's blonde bed head hair and his toned muscles that shown under the sheets. He carefully got out of bed, trying not to disturb his lover, and quietly walks out of the room.

After a couple of twists and turns Tony came to the room he was looking for. He quickly put his hand on the scanner and the door flew opened. He walked in and headed for the glass shelf which had numerous bottles on them. He blindly reached for one of the liquids and pulled it down from the shelf. He walked over to his father's desk and, without a word, opened a drawer and got a glass. As Tony poured himself a glass ad sat down in the swivel chair. As he took a sip he began to think about his life. All the woman he slept with and not really feeling anything for them. Even with his relationship with Pepper and how that didn't end well because he didn't love her. When he first met Steve he felt something inside of him spark to life. After countless tries to figure it out and asking his friends he finally came to a conclusion. He was in love with Captain America! When Tony told the Captain, he was overjoyed to find out that the other man felt the same and the hit it off really well.

After Tony downed his 8th glass he started to wonder…Steve deserved better than this…he deserves a real man! Not some guy who slept with countless women and shuts himself in his lab working. Steve needs a man who will love him and give him attention that he needs and more. To love him and respect him in ways that Tony could not. In fact, Tony thought so lowly of himself that he decided that he shouldn't even be alive! He should have stayed dead when he fell from the sky. When he finished his 12th glass he was searching for something in the desk. When he finally opened the last drawer he put his hand in and pulled out a six chamber revolver that his father used to commit suicide, and you know what they say…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Tony wondered what that game the Natasha had played once when she was a kid…what was it again?

Oh yes… Russian Roulette.

Tony bent down and grabbed a bullet from the case and opened the chamber, plopping one in then shutting it close. He spun the chamber and with one hand held the gun to his head, and in the other his 13th glass. He closed his tear filled eyes and pulled the trigger.

Back in the room Steve Rogers awoke from his sleep, he felt that something was wrong and when he turned to look at the empty bed he rushed out from the covers and the room.

"J.A.R.V.I.S where is Tony?!"

"HE IS IN HIS FATHER'S STUDY SIR. I BELIEVE HE IS PLAYING A GAME CALLED RUSSIAN ROULETTE."

Steve stopped in his tracks, eyes wide with fear and rushed to the room. He remembers Tony telling him about how his father killed himself and he knew that Tony was feeling a bit off with nightmares, but he never would have thought he would go this far.

Tony pulled the trigger for the 4th time just waiting for the last two pulls. Just as he pulls the trigger for the 5th time the door slams open and someone screams out his name. Suddenly he felt someone tackle him to the ground and just as he hits the ground he pulls the last trigger. A loud BANG echoed throughout the room and hallway and Tony let his arm fall to the floor as someone snatches the gun from his hand and throws it away as if it was a bomb. Tears stream down Tony's face as he yells at the man on top of him.

"WHY?! WHY DID YOU STOP ME?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE?"

SLAP

Tony's face turned to the side as a hand swiped across his face, leaving a giant red mark. He felt tear droplets fall on his face, getting quicker and quicker. Hands grabbed at his shoulders and shook him.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT'S WHY! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! EVERYONE LOVES YOU!"

"YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME! SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND GIVE YOU ALL OF THEIR ATTENTION! THAT'S NOT ME! I SHOULD HAVE DIE….MPH!

Soft warm lips covered his own making him not being able to finish what he was saying. Tears flowed from his eyes as he closed them while throwing his arms around Steve's neck, kissing him like there was no tomorrow which, if Steve hadn't come sooner there would be no tomorrow for him. Tony cried and he cried saying apologies over and over again. Steve picked him up and put him between his legs rocking back and forth while rubbing his back as the man cried in his shirt. He whispered soothing words sweetly and softly in his ears, telling him that it was ok and that he still loved him and always will, and never to leave him. When Tony's breaths started to become slow and even he knew that the man was asleep. Steve quietly picked him up and left the room, leaving the broken glass and an empty revolver behind.


End file.
